Category: Uncategorized

Response to Oakland School Shooting

December 8, 2021 | By Cassandra Kiger

Sad. Angry. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Devastation. Loss of Words. Grief. Scared. 

As our Affinity Mentoring team discussed the most recent school shooting at Oxford High School in Michigan, these were the feelings we talked about:

  • How unbelievable this feels to have to consider when sending students to school, and also how obviously this will keep happening until something systemic changes;
  • the immediate repercussions we witnessed in our partner schools as other students, young and old, all clearly hurting and without means to accurately and safely communicate their needs, imitated what they heard and saw;
  • the lack of resources schools have to address the underlying needs and concerns behind these events, and our fears that more resources will be directed towards policing and suspensions rather than mental health resources and supports;
  • how desperately we want to galvanize the resources at our own disposal to make sure no student, ever, feels that they are without hope, resources, or a trusted someone to talk to and express their feelings, their fears, their hopes, and their needs to. 

We want to affirm your right and your need to experience so many feelings in times like these. Hard feelings. Uncomfortable feelings. Overwhelming feelings. Conflicting feelings. Feelings that make you feel embarrassed. Feelings that are different from those around you. We have to stop repressing our feelings and our grief, and we need to practice safely and appropriately expressing them. We need to demonstrate and model to the students around us that feelings are okay, they are normal, we all have them. And we need to model to students around us what to do with feelings; not to shove them down, not to ignore them until it’s too late, not to use them for pain or harm to others, but to express them in safe and healthy ways. 

[Photo Descriptions] Left: “I Like Mentoring because it actually gives people someone to talk to and after this past year people have lost a lot and they don’t like to talk about it but I think that everyone needs someone to talk to and express their feelings and talk to.”
Right: “This is my first year having a mentor and I enjoy it quite a lot! I feel like I can share things I wouldn’t normally share with other people. Like I can talk about my interests without being called weird for it. Talking to someone who is genuinely interested in what I’m saying! :)”

There are no doubts that math and literacy are critical for the future of students, our community, and our world. But math and literacy at the expense of mental and physical health and safety are irrelevant. Our book-smarts will not matter if we do not know how to communicate with each other, resolve conflict, create boundaries for ourselves and others, express our needs and feelings, get support, and experience a full range of emotions. These things, too, are absolutely critical. Will you join us in treating them like they are? Sometimes it can feel scary or overwhelming to talk about mental health and violence. We want to support you with resources and tools. 

It is always ok to talk to someone about whether or not they are having thoughts about harming themselves or others. Talking with them about it does not increase their chances of causing harm to someone, it actually decreases it.

If you or someone you know is at risk of harming yourself/themselves or others, you can visit the Pine Rest Psychiatric Urgent Care Center at: 

  • Pine Rest Mental Health Services
  • Building E, Entrance E1
  • 300 68th Street SE, Grand Rapids, MI

Or call them at 616.455.9200 or visit pinerest.org/urgent. They are open everyday except on major holidays. 

Seeking out mental health services like therapy or counseling is never weak. It takes incredible strength and bravery to admit when you could use extra support. No matter what gender you identify as, what race or ethnicity you identify as, where you are from, or what you were taught (or not taught) about mental health, we support you. You are brave. You are worth it. 

  • You can support students by  advocating for more in school resources to support student mental health and social emotional learning, rather than increased policing. 
  • Sign up for our newsletter at affinitymentoring.org to learn about ways to support students and families, and things that impact our mental health and social-emotional well-being every month, and follow up on Facebook and Instagram for weekly tips and reminders. 

Our Mission is to facilitate equitable growth in academics, social emotional skills, and self-esteem through mutually beneficial mentoring relationships. We believe in cultivating a brave space that amplifies the voices of young agents of change in a diverse and inclusive community.

Our vision is to be a leading nonprofit for fostering belonging alongside young people, families, and community.

Affinity Receives BBB Accreditation

November 2021

Affinity Mentoring has met the 20 Standards for Charity Accountability and earned its status as a BBB Accredited Charity. BBB Accreditation confirms that organizations have the policies and practices in place to be the best stewards of the donations it receives.

We are proud to have received approval from the Better Business Bureau, whose vision is of, “[a]n ethical marketplace where buyers and sellers trust each other.” We agree with this vision, and offer this as another opportunity and avenue for the public to provide us feedback on our work and keep up accountable to our commitments in our Strategic Plan to “create regular cycles of public feedback on our work, and give power to the community to speak into where we will direct our resources and which projects we will prioritize.”

For more detailed information and upcoming opportunities to provide feedback on our work, look for the 2022 Community Listening Project launch in the new year. 

Why is Social Emotional Learning Important?

October 4, 2021 | By Cassandra Kiger, Executive Director

Social Emotional Learning and Middle School In our last newsletter we introduced how critical Social Emotional Learning is to a healthy life, including in academics, and why we are putting so much focus into SEL skills during mentoring. As we work to ensure that our programming has successful short-term and long-term outcomes for students and families, and that we continue to use relevant research to guide our programming, we have spent significant time researching what different age groups might need in mentoring, including middle schoolers, like those at our Burton and Godfrey-Lee Middle School Sites. 


Does anyone look back at middle school and remember a time of certainty and ease? These are foundational years that encompass social and emotional challenges, changes in self-esteem, changing relationships with peers and caregivers, and generally a lot of hormones. Academically, middle school shows some of the highest declines in student outcomes, especially students of color and those from low-income households, who face extra challenges. Some of these challenges are due to systemic issues that are embedded into our white, western view of school systems (this is not focused on a specific school system, but the overall school system). Many students report that they do not even feel like they “fit” in the schools they attend, as they might not feel a sense of belonging, purpose, and empowerment in the educational system. We can impact these realities through ensuring mentoring is a space of belonging, safety, and acceptance; putting student voice and input at the forefront of our work and decisions; and focusing our efforts on supporting student growth in Social Emotional Learning, Leadership Skills, and Self-Esteem.


We do not take our research lightly.  We are making renewed efforts to do our own organizational and individual work to make sure that we do not perpetuate students feeling like they “don’t fit” when they come to mentoring, whether that be because of their race or ethnicity, their country of origin, their gender identity or sexual orientation, if they identify as differently-abled, or for any other reason they may feel “different”. Research consistently shows us that when students feel that they are fully accepted for who they are, that they have safe adults around them that care for them, accept them wholly, and they can go to for support and help, they succeed in many other areas of life, including academics.
Again, all of this we are pairing closely with data, which is why we are preparing to administer the Development Assets Profile survey to all of our mentees grades 4-8 (with guardian permission). This assessment is validated and reliable through the Search Institute, and grows out of years of research with millions of young people and is based on Search Institute’s framework of Developmental Assets. It will allow us to:

  • Discover the social-emotional strengths and supports that our mentees already have;
  • Listen to the perspectives of mentees;
  • See our work in the context of mentee’s own strengths as well as the supports they have (or don’t have) in their families, schools, organizations, and community; and
  • Gain a road map to guide us in proactive and focused planning to increase positive outcomes.

We will continue to make our work transparent and share data in appropriate ways so that you can see the “why” behind the “how” at Affinity Mentoring, and can partner alongside us in this important work. Look out in the coming year for opportunities for mentors and community members to learn alongside our team as we continue to grow. 

Bibliography:

Fite, P., Frazer, A., DiPierro, M., & Abel, M. (2019). Youth Perceptions of What Is Helpful during the Middle School Transition and Correlates of Transition Difficulty. Children & Schools, 41(1), 55–64. https://doi-org.ezproxy.gvsu.edu/10.1093/cs/cdy029

Hughes, J. N., Im, M., Kwok, O., Cham, H., & West, S. G. (2015). Latino Students’ Transition to Middle School: Role of Bilingual Education and School Ethnic Context. Journal of Research on Adolescence (Wiley-Blackwell), 25(3), 443–458. https://doi-org.ezproxy.gvsu.edu/10.1111/jora.12142

Youth-Nex, and Youth-Nex. “What Do You Know About Young Adolescent Development?” Youth, 15 Sept. 2020, youthnexblog.curry.virginia.edu/?p=1963.

YOUTH VOICE & SCHOOL CLIMATE & CULTURE IN THE MIDDLE GRADES. Remaking Middle School, education.virginia.edu/sites/default/files/files/Youth_Nex_files/4b.%20Climate%20&%20Culture_Rationale%20Statement.pdf.

Meet Affinity’s Newest MSW Intern

May 21, 2021

Lauren Enos, MSW Intern

My name is Lauren and I am currently an MSW student at Grand Valley State University. I have my Bachelors degree in Psychology from Wagner College, in NYC. Although I have worked with adults with developmental disabilities since 2007, I have seen the impact of mentorship within the disability field.

What attracted me to Affinity Mentoring is the personal impact mentoring has had on me.  I have always wanted to work in a program that helped young students to develop their sense of identity, through mentorship and support from those around them. I believe Affinity’s mission and goals can have an important impact not only on the students, but on the mentors as well. I am excited to learn alongside the team and develop my social work skills. 

Welcome Lauren!